[tcbw]

Mini Torque Goes Finland (JKo, Micke, DoubleP, DTR and tcbw) is kicking off the 2022 season on Saturday 12th March with a bit of electric slidey carting (or is it karting?) at Kart In Pirkkala, followed by a winter cottage weekend at Kangasala, where we will drink cocktails from the Anti Röll Bår, we will have a proper sauna (and a swim if we have the time and inclination to cut a hole in the ice), and we will do some season planning, plus eat menu traditionale (ie grilled steak, baked potatoes and a salad). And maybe have some drinks.

Must remember to talk about the track days we are planning to attend, IMM, Nordic Mini Meet, New Mini Sweden Club/Knutstorp, Mini Club Flying Finns etc.

 

[JKo]

Really looking forward to the MTGF season starter! And I have my fingers crossed all the way up to my elbows hoping that the New Mini Club Sweden event at Knutstorp is going to happen this year.

 

[tcbw]

Well we had a good long hot sauna and drank a few cocktails from the Änti Röll Bar - but then in the morning, when we were all still hungover, I got the Land Rover stuck in the deep snow, becausehobotyres, and something complicated about differential locks not locking in reverse.

It took a while to dig it out. Thanks guys. I'd still be digging.

Anyway, we did Actually Plan to Do Something.

 

[tcbw]

So what did we plan? We decided to go to Sweden, if the Swedish miniacs decided to put their event on. Some of us haven't actually driven at Knutstorp, some of us wanted better times. Good decision. Except that the Swedish nutjobs then informed us that sadly MINI Sweden hasn't sold enough EVs or Xsomethings since 2019 and they couldn't find any spare money to rent the track for a bunch of guys to drink tax free drinks.

So, we're not going to Sweden.

But, we have a Plan B.

And that is to join the Finnish Audi Big Swinging Dick Club. Or the Big Finnish Dick Audi Club. Whatever. Excellent decision.

I sense some confusion. Or not.

Well Micke is a bright lad and he figured out from an argument in a car park that the Finnish Audi Owners of Finland Club are going to Estonia this summer. To drive around the PorscheRing at Pärnu. It used to be called the Auto24Ring but presumably Auto24 didn't sell 24 cars last year. I digress. So in short, Finnish Audi's go Porsche Estonia Track.

Fair enough. Good luck to them. But here's the cunning bit. You don't actually or technically need to own or drive an Audi to have a big swinging dick. You just need 'an interest'. So Team MiniTorque Goes Finland is all going to suddenly develop a massive interest in Audi's, join the Club (45eur), register for the track day (0eur), book some ferries (someEur) and a whole cottage with a sauna (400eur?), and rock up with a stash of E85, some slabs of Lonkero, all of our tools, and some little old R53s and have a tremendous amount of fun at a new track. On 10th June 2022.

Great Plan Micke!!

We'll let you know how many Audi's DoubleP annoys.

 

[Micke]

It was @DTR who had an argument with and meat flute Audi driver, a real Katzen Arsch! I got the info about the track days and Audi club from an Alfa Romeo driver. Life is full of surprises 😂

 

[tcbw]

Do we have to tell them about our VAG fleet? (We can ignore the nonVAG Ford RallySupport Van, WRX Citroen, various MINIs, and the Land Rover TowBar.) We've got - between us - a VRS, a GTI and an Beetle. That might help?

 

[tcbw]

I should say that wasn't an April Fools - we really are joining the Audi Club.

We promise to uphold The Honour of the Lightweight FWD.

 

[tcbw]

On Saturday 14th May, I took it to the track at Ahvenisto for a bit of an early season shakedown.

I'd wrangled my rear seats out, and my Sparco back in, and I'd topped off my oil again. Ready to roll. As it turns out no-one else in the team was ready - becausereasons - so I rocked up at a BMW meet with the only MINI. You can call me NormanNoMates. But at least I got some track work in on an empty track, and I managed to leave with both car and dignity intact when the rain came in. As to lessons learned, 595s work well at 2.4bar hot up front and my pads are still cack.

 

[JKo]

The MTGF trip to Estonia's only(?) motorsport venue was great success! (add Borat meme here) Great track to drive, great time was had, great amount of mosquitos were killed, and good food and drinks were consumed. The only technical DNF was when DoubleP's radiator end tank hose connection thing started leaking, which luckily didn't prevent the car from being driven home. And there was some minor issues, such as the CV boot and control arm joint on tcbw's BRB. We held our own quite nicely in the midst of all those over-powered quattro barges. I will hopefully have some in-car footage uploaded soon, but here's a snapshot or three from the trip.

 

[Colonel Bogey]

Nice line up.

Love the hairdressing sticker 😂

 

[tcbw]

It was a great trip, even if the 2½hr ferry ride was a bit boring; at least the loadmaster put us on the lower car/lorry deck - as Micke explained nicely, our cars were unlikely to make it up the ramp to the higher car deck.

JKo had found a nice little cottage near the circuit, which had a BBQ and some interesting artwork, with possibly the world's smallest usable sauna. So we were OK, even if all the local wildlife sucked our blood.

The PorscheRing at Pärnu is an excellent track, even if there is no elevation. It's quite long, has some tricky little corners and some high speed sweepers, plus a double apex corner we called Ballsack. It was a good corner to catch slower/less grippy cars. It was excellent to drive a new circuit, and we all really want to go back. Micke got some serious laps in; DTR was also quietly competent. JKo needs more tyres. All went well until DoubleP started leaking coolant and my right rear lower suspension control arm dismounted with a big old bang at the first corner, and scared the shit out of me. I thought I'd blown a tyre...

But we all made it home, which was not necessarily clear on the morning we were due to leave and couldn't find a spare radiator for DoubleP. I think he only had the front end off three times this trip.

It turns out that the Audi guys from ACF are 'less dickhead' and 'more nicer' than the BMW guys from BTCF. Some of the Audi Big Guys even talked to us, mostly to find out why the little old MINIs were so quick. Nobody expected that. They might even let us go back next time, but I suspect the price for non-Audi's will change...

 

[tcbw]

Love the hairdressing sticker 😂

Sticker Tuning +5hp

 

[Micke]

It was a great trip overall. To have our small group of 5 back together and making it abroad was surprising 😁
Sitting on the ferry and the 2h drive afterwards were both a bit boring but it was all rewarded woth some long due sauna, BBQ and talking crap for few hourse. I did like the track and felt quickly comfortable to drive a bit faster. I had some laps with a TT RS that was bloody quick on the straights, no surprise there. Afterwards the owner came to chat a bit and ask abou the R53 as he was surprised by the speed in corners. Also a few lap stint with @DoubleP was a great way to see how the track should be driven. The difference in power was obvious also in this case but I was able to keep up.
The car felt great, for the first time since owning it. Some small tweaks here and there needed but it’s not far from being done.

 

[JKo]

Love the hairdressing sticker 😂

Me too. Courtesy of tbcw 😄

Too bad the FWD versions of the quattro gecko stickers didn't arrive in time for our trip...

Some small tweaks here and there needed but it’s not far from being done.

The jokes never end 😂

 

[tcbw]

To be fair, Micke's car was quick and reliable, and he drove it well. Finally getting to a more sorted stage. I couldn't catch him once he started playing with DoubleP, as I simply don't have the brakes right now (I did do a huge lock up at the first corner - never quite got that one figured out. Maybe JKo got some footage)

I did manage to get past an Audi A6 estate (I don't know which one, they all look the same to me except the wide body jobs), a yellow S3, a 996 C2 cabriolet, a late-ish Boxster, an Evo IV, and a couple of Ford (Fowwdah #OTSOT) Fiesta STs, but I didn't have a chance against the new S5 on the straight. And I didn't go out with the 991.2 C2S (the 3.0tt) or the R8 V10+ which was a bit of a monster, but I think I'd just have been in the way.

So even if it was an Audi event, there was quite a good spread of cars and drivers.

 

[Micke]

You have to sort out the brakes and during next time we can have fun the 5 of us as the speed is similar, with the sprintex beast away in the front 😁

 

[JKo]

Micke was really at it on the track. I think there was only about two tenths between us two, but corner and straight speeds were quite different... comparing our Racechrono logs Micke was 7-8km/h faster in every corner (minimum speed), but I could close the gap on the straights. Except on the one after the fast left hand sweeper, my lack of confidence in the PS4's really shined there.

The obvious differences are that Micke was on semi-slicks and I have slightly more power, but would be interesting to compare our logs in more detail, especially corner exit speeds.

 

[DTR]

Micke was really at it on the track. I think there was only about two tenths between us two, but corner and straight speeds were quite different... comparing our Racechrono logs Micke was 7-8km/h faster in every corner (minimum speed), but I could close the gap on the straights. Except on the one after the fast left hand sweeper, my lack of confidence in the PS4's really shined there.

The obvious differences are that Micke was on semi-slicks and I have slightly more power, but would be interesting to compare our logs in more detail, especially corner exit speeds.

The two tenths and those speed differences were between you and me 😉 Micke was way faster 👌🏻

 

[tcbw]

This was such a cool track... deffo looking forward to the next time.

It seems early to be talking about the season ender, but our own local Mini club - the Mini Club Flying Finns - only arranges one track day a year, and that's now been scheduled for Saturday 24th September 2022, and this time it'll be held at Alastaro.

We're hoping to rustle up a couple of the Swedish lads (as there is no Swedish track day this year... becausereasons), and so far we have interest from the owners of a trailer queen/racecar R56, a GP2, a GP3, and another modified R56. I'm guessing that it's only the guys who are close to Stockholm and the east coast who can find the time - it's well outside the summer season.

If anyone else on MT is interested, let us know. It's a bit of a road trip, and the weather isn't going to be anything special, but it'll be fun.

 

[JKo]

The two tenths and those speed differences were between you and me 😉 Micke was way faster 👌🏻

Yes of course, I could not keep up with Micke.